You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
