dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
