i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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