my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
