we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
