I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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