Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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