Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
