What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Can Purell be used as lube?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
