Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
