Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I didn't shave. On purpose
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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