do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
No subtext here. People are naked.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize