you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
