Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
