He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
