It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize