He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
