just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
