Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
