Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
