Best friends brother. Beat that.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
