i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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