Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I have aggressive nipples.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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