thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
we're so committed to being not committed
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
