Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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