Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
