how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
