Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
