apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
