Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
