no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
