I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
