Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
