And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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