i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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