its not stalking. its research.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
