If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize