How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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