i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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