plz talk dirty to me
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Randomize
