So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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