so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
