My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
