do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
