I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
