Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
