Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
