We won't sleep together?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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