i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
