so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
