"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
