It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
