It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
