Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
