Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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