did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
