So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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