i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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