i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
