He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize