is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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