Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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