I wish you could order shots online.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize