don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
