I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
